Dolce & Gabbana Do Jail: Crimes of Fashion

My two favorite Italians, Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, were sentenced to prison in Italy this week for failing to pay 40.4 million Euros [roughly 60 million US dollars].  The designer / white collar criminal duo were sentenced to one year and eight months in jail, in addition to paying what they owe in taxes and a 500,000 euro fine. 

D & G's lawyer, Massimo Dinoia, plans to appeal the convictions as well as the related fines and sentences.

"Dolce and Gabbana will not go to jail now or ever," Dinoia said.

I hope they...

A.  Do not go to prison because, really, who cares.

B.  They go to prison for a little bit and then are released and design a prison-chic inspired collection which I own every piece of

Anyway, good luck with this haute mess. Ciao bello!

#HauteMess

Stefano Gabbana, Eva Mendes, Domenico Dolce

 

Stefano Gabbana, Victoria Beckham, Domenico Dolce

 

maybe Rose McGowan, Stefano Gabanna, maybe Cameron Diaz, Domenico Dolce

Mandals, Sandals for Men 2013

This is a fact and DO NOT listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.  Mandals are IN, period, end of story.  There are a few specific rules for wearing Mandals, especially in Manhattan. 

RULE #1 Do NOT wear mandals to the office.  

"If anyone were to find me in a business suit and flip-flops in midtown, I hope that they would hit me with a taxi." 

 -Tim Gun

RULE #2 Do not wear mandals on the subway..  that is disgusting, no one wants to see your gross ass toes on the subway.  Honestly avoid wearing and sandals in New York City at all, your feet will turn black and it just seem unhygienic.
EXCEPTION TO RULE #2  Wear mandals if going to SOHO House, my roof deck, or wandering around the West Village (drunk)

RULE #3 Keep your look simple and casual.. model off duty.  Rolled up jeans and a tee, effortless chic.

RULE #4 Always wear mandals while glamping in East Hampton

If you can handle these rules, run out and buy the best of men's sandals for this summer.  #HauteMess

Giuseppe Zanotti $795 @ SSense.com

Valentino $600 @ MrPorter.com

Pierre Hardy $395 @ SSense.com

Christian Louboutin $795 @ ChristianLouboutin.com

Lanvin $950 @ MrPorter.com

Giuseppe Zanotti $925 @ SSense.com

  

Lil' Kim: The Queen Bee

The baddest bitch in the game, Lil Kim, performed this past Friday at the Gramercy Theatre in Manhattan.  I am the hugest Lil Kim fan and literally (figuratively) was dying to see her in concert.  While the concert may have been a bit low budge the Queen Bee herself, Lil Kim, did not disappoint.  Looking fly as hell in a metallic catsuit she rapped our favorite songs like 'Lighter's Up' and 'How many Licks'  I would see her perform every week if it was possible, actually I'd rather her just come over for drinks and a blunt. #HauteMess

Lil' Kim performing at Gramercy Theatre April 26, 2013

Lil' Kim photographed by David LaChapelle

Eating Is Not Very Chanel.

Last night, Chanel and the TriBeCa Film Festival celebrated the Art Awards program with an intimate dinner at the legendary Odeon restaurant on West Broadway in TriBeCa.  The brand's 8th Annual dinner was flooded with gorgeous and fashionable actors, models, and artists.  Most were wearing Chanel's newest Cruise 2013 collection.  The walls were covered in beautiful red flowers and the room was completed with a Chanel perfume vending machine, each bottle retailing for over $250.00.  Robert De Niro, co-founder of the Tribeca Film Festival and actor, was in attendance with his wife Grace Hightower.  Also in attendance were the usual but never less fabulous slew of model/designer/socialites Alexa Chung, Harley Viera Newton, Annabelle Dexter Jones, Dree Hemmingway, Julia Restoin Roitfeld and Leigh Lezark. Other notable guests in attendance include Vogue editor Giovanna Battaglia, model Joan Smalls, Jane Rosenthal, Sean Avery, Peter Brant, Mira Sorvino, Paul Haggis, Mickey Sumner, Griffin Dunne, Atlanta De Cadenet, Riley Keough, Taraji P. Henson, and more. Last night was unmistakably haute. #HauteMess

Chanel Logo in flowers

Alexa Chung

Harley Viera Newton

Giovanna Battaglia

Joan Smalls

Annabelle Dexter Jones

Leigh Lezark

Julia Restoin Roitfeld

Dree Hemmingway

Chanel Perfume Vending Machine

Palm Sunday Cucumber Basil Ginger Martini

9.00 am.. my phone is ringing.  It's my Mom reminding me to get up and go to Palm Sunday mass.  Okay, whatever Mom, you're weird.  I shower and put on my Sunday best, a Lanvin checkered button up, an orange Hermes v-neck sweater, navy Hudson twill cropped pants and leather Ferragamo boat shoes. It's an hour early and I look cute, I figure since it's Sunday Funday and a holiday I am entitled to a 10.30 am, pre-mass cocktail. What to make though?  This, my friends, is how I invented the Palm Sunday, a cucumber basil ginger martini.  Two of these, a joint, a spritz of cologne and it's time for church. 

Palm Sunday Martini / Cucumber Basil Ginger Martini

1 bottle Rain Organic Vodka 
4 tablespoons homemade ginger simple syrup (recipe below)
4 cucumber slices
6 basil leaves 
Juice from 1 lime

-Muddle 4 tablespoons ginger simple syrup, 4 diced cucumber slices, 6 basil leaves, and squeeze juice of 1 lime in a small bowl.  
-Pour into a cocktail shaker over ice and add 4 shots of vodka. 
-Shake and strain into a Martini glass

Ginger Simple Syrup
1/4 cup peeled, fresh ginger, coarsely chopped
10 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 cup water
-Add ingredients into a small saucepan and cook over medium-high heat until mixture boils and sugar dissolves; about 5-8 minutes. 
-Refrigerate until ready to use.

Hot Messes Leave Grammy Party

Remember that time your friend tried to put you in a cab by dragging you by your hair across the W Hotel parking lot in LA after a Grammy party?  Damn, hot mess! Just watch the video to see.

'The Devil Wear Prada' is getting a sequel !!

My all time favorite author, Lauren Weisberger, started to follow me on instagram today!  I know, exciting!  Anyway, I decided to google her ass and found out the BEST news.  The Devil Wears Prada is going to have a sequel.  We hope it's good since sequels usually suck. 

Weisberger is still working on the new book, titled, Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns, which should be published around June 2013; one decade after TDWP was released.

Revenge Wears Prada picks up eight years after Andy Left Runway magazine and Miranda on bad terms. Andy is now editing the hottest bridal magazine around her one-time nemesis turned current BFF, Emily.  While Andy is planning her own wedding to Max, a handsome media scion, she remains haunted by her impeccably heeled former boss — and the magazine world being as small as it is, it’s only a matter of time before she hears the dreaded syllables “Ahn-dre-ah!” again.

In the mean time you must read her other books, which I literally love!  If you pick one I would suggest Everyone Worth Knowing.  This book, along with The Devil Wears Prada, absolutely made me want to work in the world of fashion and PR.  <--lame but true

We can not wait for our summer read.. Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns

Buy Lauren Weisberger's books here www.laurenweisberger.com

Style.com hates the neon green pants lady at Jason Wu!

Style.com Photoshopped a front row guests interesting fashion choice of LIME GREEN PANTS at the Jason Wu show.  Ew, mess.  The fashion site used Photoshop in every picture to change the woman's outfit into a less distracting pair of khakis.  This woman appears to be the breakout star of NY Fashion week, like Chewy on Chelsea Lately or Big Ang on Mob wives.  I'm sure we will see a spinoff show of her on Bravo! soon.  Until then, enjoy these memes from Tumblr, Front Row Fluo.

 Green Pants Lady pre-Photoshop and Green Pants Lady post-Photoshop

 Original photos of Green Pants Lady at Jason Wu

Green Pants Lady with Jesus

 

Green Pants Lady at NYFW in #Nemo

8 Types of people you will see at Fashion Week

New York Mag's 'The Cut' asked illustrator, Peter Arkle, to sketch some of the characters you see lurking around Lincoln Center during New York Fashion Week.  While he covered most of them, he did forget the Haute Mess. Check below for a little fashion anthropology!

RUDE! Bon Qui Qui gets hired at Alexander Wang

Bon Qui Qui has upgraded from working at 'King Burger's', 'out-of-the-hood' program to working as a hilariously rude sales associate at the Alexander Wang Soho store. (Everyone knows that working retail is an 'out-of-the-hood' program anyway.)

For the Spring 2013 T by Alexander Wang campaign video, Anjelah Johnson brought Bon Qui Qui back to harass Brazilian bombshell Alessandra Ambrosio, the fabulous Simon Doonan, A$AP Rocky, Shannan Click, and Natasha Lyonne while they shop at the Soho Flagship Alexander Wang store. 

Watch Bon Qui Qui get hired and fired at Alexander Wang.. we love it!

PS.. I need a black fur hammock immediately?

Bon Qui Qui, Alessandra Ambrosio

 

 Simon Doonan, Bon Qui Qui